Crushing on someone is exciting and confusing, especially if you’re unsure about their orientation. You might pick up on little hints, like who they talk about or who catches their eye, and start to wonder what’s really going on.
Honestly, the only way to know if your crush is a lesbian is if she tells you.
You’re not totally in the dark, though. You can look for clues in how she talks about relationships or reacts to LGBTQ+ topics.
Paying attention can help, but you’ve got to respect her privacy and avoid jumping to conclusions. No one likes being put under a microscope.
Think about your own feelings, too. Crushing on someone whose orientation doesn’t match yours is tough, but it’s a chance to learn about yourself.
Knowing how to handle things with respect and honesty makes everything easier.
Key Takeaways
- You’ll only know someone’s orientation if they share it
- Patterns in conversation can give you clues
- Respect, honesty, and self-awareness matter most
Understanding Your Feelings for Your Crush
Liking someone can be a rush, but also a bit of a head-scratcher. You might question your own attraction and wonder what you should do about it.
What Having a Crush Means
A crush starts when you feel drawn to someone beyond friendship. Maybe you want to spend more time with them, catch yourself thinking about them, or get butterflies when they’re around.
You don’t have to want a relationship right away. Sometimes it’s just admiration or curiosity, or imagining what it’d be like to know them better.
Recognizing the difference takes some pressure off. You might act differently around your crush, like looking for excuses to talk or feeling extra happy when they notice you.
Jotting down your thoughts or chatting with a friend can help you sort it out.
Normalizing Same-Gender Attraction
Liking someone of the same gender is totally normal. Lots of people go through this, even if they’re still figuring themselves out.
A same-gender crush doesn’t define your sexuality—it just means you feel attraction. That’s all.
You might worry what these feelings mean, but honestly, attraction is just part of being human. The Trevor Project says early same-gender crushes are healthy and don’t need to be labeled unless you want to.
Talking with someone you trust can help you feel less alone. Reading about others’ experiences, like on Reddit’s LesbianActually forum, might give you some comfort.
Your crush is valid, no matter what happens next. It’s a real part of your story.
Signs Your Crush Might Be a Lesbian
You can sometimes pick up on hints about someone’s attraction by watching how they act and what they say. Body language, little comments, and the way she interacts with you can all say a lot.
Common Behaviors to Notice
If your crush goes out of her way to spend time with you, that could mean she’s interested. One-on-one hangouts instead of group stuff can be telling.
She might remember small details you mention, like your favorite snack or a random story. That’s a clue she’s paying attention.
Supportive gestures count, too. Checking in when you’re stressed or helping out with little things can show she cares.
Some women tease or joke in a playful way when they like someone. It’s usually light, but there’s a warmth to it that feels different from regular friendship.
If you want more examples, check out common signs of attraction that people notice in lesbian crushes.
How She Talks About Relationships
Listen to how she brings up dating. If she talks openly about liking women, that’s a big clue.
Sometimes it’s more subtle, like mentioning a female celebrity crush or using gender-neutral words for past partners. She might even ask about your own dating life, or if you’ve liked women before.
Compliments can give you hints, too. If she compliments your looks or personality in a way that feels more than friendly, that could mean something.
Look for patterns. One compliment doesn’t mean much, but if she keeps showing interest, pay attention.
For more examples, check out ways lesbians talk about attraction.
Body Language and Subtle Cues
Body language often says what words don’t. If she holds eye contact longer or keeps looking at you, that’s usually a sign.
Sitting close when there are other options, or finding excuses to stand near you, can mean she’s interested.
Light touches, like brushing your arm, often feel intentional and warm. Mirroring your posture or gestures is another big one—it usually means she feels connected.
Even online, frequent messages or quick replies can show she wants to keep talking. Playful emojis are a bonus.
You can find more about this in guides on recognizing lesbian attraction.
How to Approach the Situation
You want to figure out if your crush might be into women, but you don’t want to cross any lines. The best move is to spend time together, respect her space, and when it feels right, be clear about your feelings.
Getting to Know Her Better
Listen to how she talks about dating. Notice which pronouns she uses for past crushes or partners. If she says “she” instead of “he,” that’s telling.
Bring up LGBTQ+ topics naturally, maybe a movie or event, and see how she responds. If she’s open, great. If not, don’t push it.
Invite her to group activities or casual hangouts. Things like coffee, art fairs, or local events let you connect without pressure.
Advice on winning your lesbian crush’s heart says fun moments together help you understand her better.
Be observant, not obsessive. Look for patterns, not just one-off moments.
Respecting Her Privacy
Asking her outright can feel invasive if you’re not close. Let her share what she wants at her own pace.
Don’t snoop on her social media or grill mutual friends about her. That’s disrespectful and usually backfires.
Focus on building trust. Share things about yourself and give her space to do the same.
If she isn’t ready to talk about her orientation, just accept it and keep things friendly. Nobody owes anyone an explanation about their identity.
Having an Honest Conversation
Once you feel comfortable, bring up your feelings directly. Keep it simple. Instead of something vague, try, “Want to grab coffee this weekend?”
Being straightforward avoids confusion. If she’s not interested, she can tell you without mixed signals.
Advice from talking to your crush as an LGBTQ+ person says honesty and respect go a long way.
If she says she’s not into women or doesn’t feel the same, thank her for being honest. Handling rejection with maturity shows respect for both of you.
If she’s interested, you’ve already set a good tone by being open. That makes things easier moving forward.
What to Do If Your Crush Is a Lesbian
Finding out your crush is a lesbian can be confusing at first. You’ll need to manage your own feelings and respect hers.
Coping with Disappointment
It’s normal to feel let down when you realize your crush won’t become a romance. Give yourself space to process it.
You might feel sad, frustrated, or even embarrassed. That’s all okay.
Try these:
- Talk it out with a friend
- Write down your feelings
- Stay busy with hobbies or schoolwork
Don’t blame yourself or her. Her sexuality isn’t about you, and you didn’t cause it.
If you keep holding onto hope, it only makes it harder. Over time, feelings fade and most people end up appreciating the crush as part of growing up.
Staying Friends and Moving Forward
If you care about her as a person, focus on building a friendship. Respecting her identity is crucial.
Keep things light. Invite her to group stuff or casual hangouts. Show her you enjoy her company, without making it about attraction.
Friendships after a crush can be tricky, but they often get stronger once the pressure’s off. Seventeen says starting as friends helps everyone feel respected.
Shifting your focus protects the bond you already have. You might even find the friendship means more than the crush ever did.
Frequently Asked Questions
Figuring out if your crush likes girls can be confusing. It’s not always easy to know what to do if she comes out as a lesbian.
You’ll need to pay attention to her signals, respect her identity, and deal with your own feelings if things don’t line up.
How can I tell if the girl I like is into other girls?
You can’t really know unless she tells you. Stereotypes like short hair or specific clothes don’t actually reveal anything about sexuality.
Pay attention to her actions. If she seems extra interested in women or talks about liking them, maybe even gives you more attention than usual, it might mean something.
Still, the only real way to know is if she chooses to share that with you.
What should I do if I find out my crush is only interested in women?
If you’re a guy and she’s only into women, she probably won’t be into you romantically. The best move is to respect her orientation and not try to change her mind.
You can stay friends if you both want that. Just don’t push for more.
Why do I seem to always fall for girls who are lesbians?
Maybe you notice patterns in who you’re drawn to. Attraction can be weird like that.
Sometimes people are pulled toward qualities like confidence or openness, especially if someone’s out and comfortable with themselves.
Attraction isn’t always logical. It’s normal to feel this way, even if it feels a bit frustrating.
Can a straight person have a crush on someone who’s gay?
Totally. Crushes just happen, and you don’t get to pick who you like.
Sometimes you fall for someone who isn’t available, for all sorts of reasons.
It doesn’t make your feelings less real. They just might not go anywhere romantic.
What’s the best way to handle a situation where my crush comes out as lesbian?
Stay supportive and respectful. Coming out is a big deal, so your reaction matters a lot.
Don’t make it about your disappointment. Let her know you appreciate her honesty and that you respect who she is.
Being a good listener really helps, even if you’re not sure what to say.
How do I move on from liking someone who doesn’t share my sexual orientation?
Give yourself some time to sit with your feelings. It’s honestly pretty normal to feel sad or even annoyed at first.
Try to focus on other parts of your life. Spend time with people who really get you and want to see you happy.
If you want to dive deeper into mixed signals and crushes, check out these signs of a lesbian crush.
